do dreams have meaning?

my dreams have recently been excruciatingly vivid.

the type that inspired Lewis Carroll to write Alice in Wonderland or Mozart to compose his best work. these dreams have plunged me into the past, tricked my reality into believing I still stand beside people I no longer know, both living and dead.

so why do we find meanings in dreams?

often we research the common symbols that appear in millions of people’s dreams; teeth falling out meaning loss in life, heights symbolising anxiety and matters being out of our control, and so forth. however, scientifically dreams seem to have no meaning at all. according to The Activation Synthesis Theory, the brain has a natural response to EEGs and creates something to make sense of this random stimuli. in terms of nightmares, Revonsuo coined the Threat Stimulation theory and simply said the amygdala fires during our sleep, setting of the same Fight-Or-Flight response we experience when awake.

this didn't satisfy me.

I became lost in research about Carl Jung and his theories concerning dreams and his quote “dreams are the guiding words of the soul”; all of which drove me to keep a dream journal beside my bed. my interest stopped there, content with the preservation of my dreams without the curiosity to search for more.

up until last month.

why do we dream about people who are no longer in our lives?

each evening I’d fall asleep and often dream of one (if not all) of these three people, whom we shall call A, B and C. I am no longer in contact with A or B, and C had passed away years ago.

A floated in and out of my dreams but B became the main focus. often in these dreams, I would be seeking the closure from B that they never gave me.

for example:

the two of us were going to the train station - something dull that we both did together. we’d be laughing, talking, slotting into the old rhythm of friendship. we referenced our time apart, B usually nodding whilst I said that I missed them. once we got to the barriers, I touched my card to the sensor and waked through smoothly. I turn to see B smiling until they lift their card to do the same and stop. they look at me and simply say, “I cannot do this. I have to go.” the flood of confusion, hurt and anger rushed through me; a wave of memory, drowning me back to consciousness.

the dreams were always the same; B would come close to giving me what I hoped for or the closure that I needed and the dream would end, either with betrayal or silence.

I wrote a lot of poetry about it too:

you often visit in my dreams

and sometimes I hug my pillow

just that little bit tighter

because I know that is the only way

we can ever be what we were again

or…

I say that I’m over it

but you live in my dreams

like a ghost haunting its tomb

you scratch at my subconscious’ deepest wounds

pouring salt into my skin

creeping your way within

and all I can do is feel

I wake up restless not knowing what is real

and for a moment I am where I was

for a moment I’m enough

poetry tends to be my outlet - can you tell?

so as any normal person on the internet would do, I went on reddit to hear other people’s thoughts on dreams (yes, I hear your sighs). One person said, “dreams are not random thoughts that the brain spits out. why would that be? For most of us, dreams speak from our true inner states, in a primordial language of symbolism.”

I could hear Freud practically screaming at the psychologist in me to remember the power of my subconscious mind and to have some self-awareness. perhaps science pinned these dreams down to random stimuli, but it felt like it echoed everything I tried to prevent myself from feeling.

dreams suddenly became a powerful tool.

for if I continually dream of A and B, or perhaps certain symbols or places, then that must be a shadow aspect of myself that I prevent from coming to light.

this also answered a lot of my questions related to my dreams of C.

why do we dream of people who have passed away?

however, when I dreamt of C it was often through Lucid Dreaming. I was aware I was dreaming, or perhaps merely aware that they couldn’t logistically ‘be here’. I’d often reference to them that they were dead, or perhaps ask them what it is like to die - C never responded to those parts.

except one time:

this was my most recent dream of C. they had just come home, after being dead for all those years. everyone was excited but I couldn’t waltz into the garden and say hello. I was worried it wouldn't be real. when I allowed myself to believe they were truly here, it felt as though the warmth of their existence rushed through me. I ran to C, hugged them tightly and asked them if they heard me when I called to them (something I often do when I visit their grave and often in the comforts of my own company). C smiled and told me he heard me every single time.

dreams of the deceased are not new to me. I dreamt of my grandparents continuously as I grew up; those I met, and those I didn’t. I used to have dreams of my grandfather with details no one had ever told me about him - I apparently used to ‘speak’ to him as a child.

each time, it felt as though my loved ones were visiting me.

according to a study conducted by psychologist Black et al, dreams can often play a role in healing after loss, perhaps our brain’s way of trying to give back what has been lost.

this didn’t satisfy me. I wanted to believe this was them communicating to me the way they could.

so once again, I did a reddit dive.

many people had experienced similar dreams as mine, especially Lucid Dreams. dreams where they told people they were dead, or questioned about what happens within death, or how on earth they got to be ‘alive’.

it was nice to know I am not alone.

conclusions?

it depends where you look.

astrologists will tell you it’s to do with the upcoming Pisces Moon (which is known to cause quite vivid dreams). history will tell you multiple answers, from the Aboriginals to the Egyptians, whilst Philosophers like Descartes will tell you something completely different. Freud and Jung will always be at each other’s throats in Psychology, biology will only ever serve you a starter of dreams you’ll perhaps never feel satisfied with and Reddit will give you the meal you have been craving.

the truth is, the most profound questions often don’t have the most easily accessible answers. we can take all the routes, but at times it feels more like a labyrinth then a path and we end up where started.

I feel as though the meaning lies within ourselves, e.g. how the dream made you feel, what it represents and what you need from it. I’m not a professional in these departments but I am a poet, with a pen to wield and an imagination to explore with so like always, I’ll provide some Journal Prompts and Poetry Prompts upon this:

dream journal prompts:

1. who was present in your dream?

2. what colours were in your dreams?

3. where did it take place?

4. any symbols you recognise?

5. how did the dream make you feel?

6. does that feeling link to anything you’re feeling now?

7. does this dream leave you feeling unresolved?

8. how could you resolve it?

poetry prompts:

1. write how they made you feel

2. write about what the dream felt like

3. write about the dream as if it went the way you wanted it to

Thank you for reading.

All my love,

Becca x

(P.S. If you see this, use code INSTA10 for 10% off on my website - my book Growing will be available for preorder on the 10th sep)